Craving the Divine

Psalm 63It is natural for faith in God to ebb and flow over time.  

Sometimes faith feels like a fiery tempest, raging and burning bright. Our love for God consumes everything about our life and thoughts and actions and feelings.

 

Sometimes faith feels more like a quiet stream, meandering and trickling along its banks. Our love for God twists and turns through our choices, but in a quiet and subtle path.

 

Sometimes faith feels more like a black hole, empty and draining. Our love for God is absent and our efforts to bring it back seem to absorb all our energy.

 

Faith in God is a relationship and a love; a journey through time and space and emotions. Like any relationship, it is not static.

 

Sometimes we write about the highs and lows of a relationship with God as signs of immaturity. We used to need those conferences or those hyped up musical experiences, or whatever it was that helped us feel so deeply that consuming fire of faith, but now we are beyond all that.

 

We have the commitment-driven love like a marriage. We have grown to a deep faith that is not defined by the emotional and spiritual highs of particular experiences.

 

And yet.

 

Don’t we crave it? Once we have tasted that consuming tempest of love for God, don’t we pine over our desire to have that experience again?

 

Perhaps we demonstrate our maturity through our commitment to stay through the highs and lows, not our lack of desire to find the highs again.

 

Our desire is a holy craving.

 

I have been married almost 13 years. My love for my husband is defined by this life we have carved out together, our commitment to one another through the raising of our children, and our everyday sharing of time and conversation.

 

And yet.

 

I remember in the newness of dating, when we went for a walk, and it started to rain, and we kissed under a bridge, while the entire world disappeared behind the splashes of the drops around us.

 

I wish I could have that moment again.

 

I long for more moments like those.

 

My craving is a sign of my heart’s hunger for my love.

 

You, God, are my God,     earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,     my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land     where there is no water. – Psalm 63:1

 

When the ebb and flow of our faith has taken us someplace uncomfortable, our longing shows our love.

 

I have seen you in the sanctuary     and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life,     my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live,     and in your name I will lift up my hands. I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;     with singing lips my mouth will praise you. – Psalm 63:2-5

 

Our craving shows our hunger for the Divine.

 


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