When I was younger, almost every summer I fantasized about the start of the new school year. This was going to be the year. The year I was finally noticed. The year people would finally see me and want to be with me.
I like to think I grew out of those feelings, but if I’m honest with myself, I never did.
I carry around those hopes of “this time, it’s going to be different” and “this time I’m going to be noticed” almost every time I do something public. Before speaking, writing, leading meetings, and so many other things, I daydream about the conversations that will happen afterwards, when everyone tells me how gifted I am and how glad they are that I shared with them that day.
I feel a little childish admitting that, but I’m hoping I’m not alone. I think many of us still carry around the daydreams of adolescence as we go about our everyday lives as adults.
We so desperately want to be noticed.
There are few greater gifts than being truly seen.
The truth is, even though we can find that kind of encouragement from God, it’s difficult to feel like it's enough. It’s abstract to place our significance in a God we can’t see or touch.
Yet, I will keep making space to feel His eyes upon me, for I know they are there.
This post is linking up with Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday. A weekly prompt with strict instructions: write for 5 minutes and post. No over-editing. No do-overs. An practice of freedom. A way to let go of perfectionism. An exercise for some not often used writing muscles. Read more posts or link up over there. Today’s prompt was: SEE. (Note: I spend only 5 minutes on the writing, but I do take a little extra time to put together the image. I can't help myself.)