One week ago, an entire section of my house was ripped off. It was shocking how little time it took for those walls to come tumbling down. Even though it was planned, even though it's part of a house project we have drawn up, it was still surprising to actually see the deconstruction take place.
It was also exciting to wonder at how everything would look when the blank space would be transformed, and our dreams would become reality.
It has been a week, and that blank space has only transformed from being a dirt pit to being a mud pit. After a dry fall we were suddenly struck by a week of rain.
The next step of transformation is digging a foundation. That can't happen until the ground is ready to hold the cement. After spending months working on plans, and weeks waiting on permits, we have had no choice but to continue to be patient.
Until the earth is stable, the rebuilding has to wait.
There's so many times in life when we are tempted to rush the process. Who wants to come home every day to mud pit next to the front door?
The deconstruction can be fast, but the reconstruction is almost guaranteed to be slow. We need to know that the ground we are building our lives upon is stable and good and ready for all that lies ahead.
What I am now walking out with my house, I have spent much of the last year walking out with my personhood and my faith. It was frustrating and messy and slow. I spent a lot of months with a mud pit next to my door. Yet, I know it's what was needed. The parts of the house that were torn down were someone else's rooms, not meant for me. The space I am living in now needed foundation and walls that would allow me to expand into who I was always meant to be. That kind of transformation takes time.
I am learning that patience is one of the great acts of faith in our lives: patience with ourselves, with the weather that is beyond our control, and with the God who is listening to us sigh as we look at the mess we are coming home to each day.
The mud pit won't last forever, but it can't be transformed until the ground is ready.