Remembering What Health Feels Like

I have been sick for so long that I don’t remember what healthy feels like.  

It is cold and flu season, my son is in a public school kindergarten, and we live in a new community. That is the perfect trifecta for viruses to overwhelm my little family. A barrage of fresh germs has been knocking us down again and again. Our immune systems cannot keep up.


I should have purchased stock in Kleenex and cough drops in October.


I have had a few days here and there, when my system has been able to recover. There have been slivers of space, time after my cough has dwindled and before my runny nose has begun yet again, when I remember…


Oh. That’s right. This is what it feels like to breathe.


We take our breaths for granted. The ability to suck air in through our nose or mouth in order to refill our depleted oxygen supply. That sensation of filling our lungs so full they feel like they could burst. The way releasing air once held in lets out stress and anxiety along with it.


To do this all without coughing or pain or stuffiness is a gift. I want it back. Please. Pretty please.


As I wallow a bit in my circumstances (Sorry for the drama on this one. I am feeling a bit sorry for myself today. Done. Seriously. Just plain done with colds), I am also pondering my health in other ways.


I wonder if I have forgotten what soul health feels like.


I mean sure, I go to church. In fact, I work at a church. And I pray regularly. And I read my Bible often. I try to love others well.


But, is my soul really healthy? Or have I forgotten what healthy feels like, and been lulled into thinking this is it?


I think there are germs that creep their way into our souls and mess with our spiritual health. Selfishness. Distraction. Pride. Busyness. These germs don’t necessarily stop us in our tracks, but they can slowly chip at us and make us less healthy if we are not careful.


I think the busyness germ got to me in December.


My hectic pace pressed up against my prayer life, and I defaulted to talking to God on the run. I asked for His blessings as I drove to work and made requests for His help as I stirred my dinner.


These kinds of prayers aren’t bad, necessarily. Prayer helps our souls to breathe. So anytime we do it, it is good. And prayers on the run are an awareness of His presence with us always.


But, in many ways, these prayers are shallow breaths taken through a stuffy nose.


I have forgotten what it is like to truly fill my soul with the air of God’s goodness. To set aside time just to be in His presence. To exhale my junk and inhale His grace.


It’s time I take those healthy, strong breaths again.


Do you think you have let germs creep into your spiritual life?